Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
40s are totally the cure
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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