I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
