Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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