do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
