I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You left your phone here
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