Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
