im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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