The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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