Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
