the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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