Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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