She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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