The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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