I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
