I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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