You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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