My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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