I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
