If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
is wine microwaveable?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
a search helicopter?!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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