i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
