like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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