you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
