Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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