So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize