He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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