my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
