Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
