I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
