I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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