Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
