just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
