I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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