I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
