how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
