I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
