Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
