Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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