i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
