dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I won the penis lottery.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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