I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to make out with him forever
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize