there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
that may or may not have been my penis.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
