also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
