Betty ford says i'm here all night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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