Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
