He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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