u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
