he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
