My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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