all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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