I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize