i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
