NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
