sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you will always have a special place in my vag
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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