Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
being pregnant is like rehab
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
