OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
