My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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