I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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