Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
