dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
