My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
